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Welcome to the web edition of Semination's first issue!!! Printing the magazine proved quite difficult. With an operating budget of only $200 (thanks mom and dad!!) I was able to print 50 copies at Kinkos. Seventeen copies went to so-called zine distros, two copies went to Zine Guide, about 10 copies went to friends and family, and I sent unsolicited copies (for comment) to William "Upski" Wimsatt, Howard Bloom, Noam Chomsky, and veteran schlock film critic, Steve Puchalski. 11 copies remain. Of the distros, only four responded. The first two said they enjoyed it, but didn't think it worked with their catalog. The next two (Moon Potatoes in Los Angeles and MAD People in El Monte, CA) were enthused and agreed to carry it. Upski said he wasn't sure if his copy had arrived because his office was a mess. Howard Bloom sent me a very nice email and was upfront about the fact that he enjoyed the cover, but had no intention of reading the bloody thing. Steve Puchalski was very enthused and said he would review it in the next issue of his magazine, Shock Cinema, but I highly doubt it will happen. Noam Chomsky never responded. And Zine Guide awarded Semination with "Zine of the Week". Everyone who has taken the time to read Semination has either enjoyed it greatly, or had the crap kicked out of them. The latter is especially true of many of the distros, who are quite public about not wanting to carry magazines they find hateful or offensive. I also had trouble getting Semination carried by local independent bookstores in Portland, Oregon, which is considered the most zine-friendly city in the country. A few took it on consignment (namely the venerable Reading Frenzy and the highly political Laughing Horse Books). But the biggest bookstore in town (and the country) -- Powell's -- refused to carry it after a brief "interview" I had with their zine buyer, during which it was clear he had no intention of reading Semination. And since I have no clout or connections... I had not a chance of getting it carried in their designated zine section where -- the zine buyer informed me -- almost everything sells (read: regardless of how crappy it is). The reality of selling a magazine is that it generally doesn't matter how good the writing is in a literary sense. What matters is who you know and how your magazine is marketed. Bottom line: if people aren't looking for your magazine... they won't find it. This is why distros play such a vital role in the zine subculture. The distros are the sole marketing device for most zines, besides word-of-mouth. Without the distros, zine customers would actually be forced to read the zines before they bought them. While I can only guess why 14 distros dissed me personally and professionally, it is safe to say it was probably the abundance of jokes I made about religion, gender, suicide, hippies, dumb anarchists, etc. Maybe it was the sheer intelligence of the operation. Maybe it was the fact that I dealt head on with social issues, without resorting to dogma. But I definitely got what I bargained for... I wrote Semination with the sole intention of fomenting cynicism and irreverence. I hate simpleminded people and their ignorant views... and in Semination... it comes across. But I DO have a sense of humor about all this, and I don't hold it against people who are raised improperly and fall victim to reactionary politics and cultural isolationism. The irony is that zine distros often think of themselves as revolutionaries and subversives, yet they have shunned one of our greatest freedom fighters... namely... ME! All I want is to break these literary chains and free the people's minds!! Is that so much to ask? Besides... they stand to make a little money off this. For a good example of what I was up against, I will share my experience with Microcosm Publishing, which is one of the most active and well-respected distros. Microcosm operates out of a house down the street from where I wrote Semination. I dropped the magazine off at their house, and then didn't hear from them for a few weeks. I emailed and got a reply saying they were still checking it out. It has been over three months now and they no longer respond to my emails. Microcosm is politicized to the point where they have issued seven "manifestos" on their website. Writing these manifestos must have been rather exhilirating for Joe Biel, leader of Microcosm. But far from cogent propaganda, the manifestos fall somewhere between the unedited musings of a high school journal and the narrow-minded rantings of a blogger. Admitedly, Joe does seem to be on the right path, in spite of himself. In a rare moment of lucidity he had this to say: I want to make propaganda that can be seen and understood by the general public not just an insular, elitist, and segregated group of people. I think that is a large part of why many "activist" scenes fail; their focus is so insular that they don't reach out enough into the community. In order to make positive change we need to communicate and impact the outside world.You know, I couldn't have said it better myself! Joe gets right to the heart of the matter on this one! But no sooner has his moment of clarity passed him and he launches into another "insular, elitist, and segregated" view of the world. The is from Microcosm's FAQ: What is your ideology? Why is an ideology important?Blah, blah, blah. Your typical person like me is gonna read this and be like, "Damn, my shitty job sucks and I hate my coworkers, my wife is always bitching at me after I smack her around, and my kids sniff glue. BUT THIS GUY HAS REAL PROBLEMS!" Well, that was my reaction. Here's a quote from another one of the distros where I sent my magazine. This following quote was written by Ericka, who runs Pander Zine Distro. I sent her a copy of Semination, even though I knew she would hate it... just to piss her off. take a look at the catalog & get a feel for where my tastes lie. i have no interest in poetry or music zines & things i find offensive include, but are not limited to: sexism, racism, homophobia, fatphobia/sizism, transphobia, classism, ableism, etc. you get the idea.Am I upset I was blackballed by these noble, uncompromising gatekeepers of zine nobility? Not really. Mostly, I am surprised how easily I offended this radical bunch of firebrands. Fuckin retards! I have spent countless hours reading zines on the floor of Portland's finest book stores. I know these people. I have done more research on them than the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security combined. To be fair, I have drawn a lot of inspiration from zines and independent publishing, especially the really hardcore anarchist publishers. And regardless of all these political and creative differences, I still have a lot of respect for the distros and the network they created. It is my dream to have a magazine carried by the distros. And one of these days... I'm going to do just that. And if it means I have to assume the identity of a paraplegic, blue-collar trannie, with a soft spot for Che and Fidel... so be it. It's a great challenge. All I gotta do is read a few issues of Cometbus and I will have the secret formula... and the key to the zine universe. |
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